I.love.coke

Seriously, I do. I drink a lot of sugar-free coke. While I drink just about 3 liters of coke during winter, I can easily jug up to 5 liters during the summer. Some say I’m addicted, others call it ‘black poison’ — but I also smoke, so fuck you, but in a good way.

I also ride the bus home from work. It’s almost like a fetish, really. I love riding the bus, except for summer time, when people tend to stink harder. I love to just stand and make up life stories  for people on the bus. It’s fun and it gives me something to do while I’m listening to my tunes. I met my current girlfriend on the bus and, some time ago, another girl used the bus to get to spend time with me. So, I love the bus.

The other day, I was riding the bus home. Normally I’d be standing up in my favourite spot on the bus, but it’s been a really tough week, so I sat down in my favourite seat on the bus. I was really enjoying ‘The Pot’ by Tool when the bus pulls in to its stop and a shabby looking man and his daughter get on the bus. They get on at the first door, I’m all the way in the back of the bus, in my favourite sitting spot.

The guy, who was wearing torn, old, dirty clothes was carrying a baby in his arms, hitting it against the rails as he was making his way down the bus. His daughter, who was wearing a pass-me-down leather parka coat and a funny skully, was following him closely, carrying a suitcase. I knew it was a power driver case, so I knew it was heavy.

Obviously, they come all the way to the back and fill the three-seater section, meaning they sit down right next to me, the daughter rubbing  against me as she sits down and positions the baby at her breast. Do not get ahead of me!

I notice they don’t stink as bad as I’d imagined, and I can’t hear shit, because of my lovely ear buds, so it’s still OK. Then, the baby starts yelling or crying. I knew that because everyone on that bus took their turn in turning their heads towards the back of the bus. Luckily, my noise cancelling ear-buds spared me of the racket.

Normally, when a baby starts to cry/yell, you feed it. Remember that it was just the father and the daughter. I then though: ‘Cool, I get to see a titty.’ Then I take a closer look at the girl and I realize she’s not packing any tits – and that she’s about 13. I then thought: ‘I hope I don’t see any titty.’

The child pulls out a baby bottle. It was comforting to know there won’t be any kiddy-titty-whooping-out-ing,  but there was something wrong about that baby bottle. It was neither filled with white milk, as one might expect, nor with fruity coloured juice, as that would’ve been too easy, nor with pissy-looking tea, as I’ve seen before, nor with plain water, as that’s the last alternative. No. This baby bottle was filled with black, sizzling, fucking coke. The baby grabs that bottle and starts sucking on it like it’s .. me, only without the need to stay awake 20 hours every day.

It was the weirdest thing I’d every seen a baby do(live)
The next day, I only drank two liters of coke.