Do you really listen when someone’s talking to you?
When you’re having a conversation with one person, or more, you should be trying to analyze each single bit of information that comes out of their mouth. Piecing them together to form a tale or a great idea.
What really happens is: you stop at the first keyword you hear. You then remember a story you can tell that’s somehow connected to the idea. Are you familiar with this feeling?
“Boy, just wait until I tell them this. They will so think I’m awesome when I’m done! They have to, because I do…”
You know, you’re thinking that story is so damn awesome that people will be awestruck.
The problem is, by the time you’ve thought all that, and ran the story through your head, the other person has exhausted their idea. And you missed out on all that! They took the blank stare in your eyes as a sign of you being uninterested with the particular subject. And they moved on, changing the topic, most likely.
Then you smuggle your little story into the conversation. It’s only slightly pertinent, but you make a big point as to how all-relevant it actually is. That same thought is still pounding in your head. “When I finish this story, boy, will they ever think I’m cool!”
That’s one of the things I hate about conversations today. With some people, it’s not an actual conversation, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak!
If you’re looking for great conversation, you shouldn’t need to look further than the people you already know. Just listen to them. Well, most of them.
18 Mouth-watering Comments so far
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Horia Dragomir, Catalin Ilea. Catalin Ilea said: read this and make mental notes if necessary (like in my case sometimes) RT @hdragomir miss me? Have some of my mind-barf http://j.mp/507kIw [...]
Well, now i guess I’m gonna have to be way more careful, because I recognized myself in both postures while reading your words above. I know it’s some kind of some general plague on the masses, but I don’t exactly enjoy it occuring in my head from time to time…
The “dare to be great” days are almost over, and it should be about time we all act accordingly, at least in my humble and honest oppinion. Therefore I reinstate myself in the “crysis state”, where I actually will encourage (if not oblige) the people close to me to smack me on the back of my head whenever I do or say some idiotic thing again
I usually listen to people… When I don’t, it’s a signal that I’m REALLY distracted by something else. And normally I remember what they tell me (well, not word by word, of course), which seems to amaze some people
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Raka, what’s wrong with you? I tend to stop talking to people like that. Don’t worry about it.
Granted, you, like us all, say some funky stuff at times, but that’s alright. You listen. You mostly understand. That’s exactly what I’m looking for.
Crinutza, I’ve noticed that about you. That and the fact that you even listen to people like the ones I portrayed. I don’t know how you do it, but kudos to you!
This is the “I’m sorry” part, because i sometimes do that
…The funny part, although, is that i tend to remember what the other one was saying and to reconnect with that idea when i stop with my own. It’s not nice, but at least my memory works fine and i save the moment.
Well, Horia, the thing is that I thought the remembering part didn’t count that much and i ignored it
Because just like Crinutza, even if I’m being distracted (even by my own thoughts) I can still hear and remember wat was being said 
And with the funky stuff, it’s currently work in progress
controlling its output and style, that is! 
So I look forward to the funk to come, but in a good way 
Todo, relax. We all do it from time to time. For some people, it’s a habit, not a once-in-a-while thing. That is what ticks me off.
Still, it’s not about remembering what the other one said. Well, not just about that. It’s about being there, sharing the moment, not saving it later on.
Raka, see? That’s the spirit. Your funk is part of the reason why I love your guts!
Well, my mind is living the moment. It’s just that it forgets to let my mouth know about that. It’s like a secret. Let’s reveal it later
)…something like that. You don’t need to get anrgy or something like that about this. For some people, it’s actually a disease. They can’t help it. When you come across something like this, think that the person has that disease. Maybe you won’t get angry and just smile 
.
Yeah, that will only happen if they all don’t turn “Zombieland” on us
)
Todo, I do smile the first couple of times, until I realize the person in question is self-absorbed. Maybe it’s not anger per se. It’s tinged with disappointment.
Raka, with my reputation and t-shirt ( thankies, by the way ), you’d better hope they don’t turn “Rearenders9″ on us
I think it’s likely for all of us to drift into this “conversational ignorance”, at one time. But this anti-listening and anti-understanding behaviour is really a plague now.
(Why do I have the feeling I didn’t say anything different from what you’ve already said?)
Ihriel, you delivered the same message, but in two lines! Bravo on that.
All plagues come and go, and, as with all plagues, not all people are touched. I am just happy I know a whole lotta people that listen. I mean really listen.
(My two-lines message is meaningless without your post.)
Horia, you are a very lucky person
http://www.andressa.ro/2009/12/oamenii-care-vad-oglinzi.html
ilym thank you for the great read. She covers what I said, and more!
The funny part is that as the other is speaking, my mind tends to make the strangest connections and sometimes I find myself recounting stories that I didn’t even remember a minute ago