I got a nice phone call the other day:

Hi, Horia! I have a problem.

Hello! Let’s see.

I have this Trojan notification from my antivirus…

What options does it give you?

“Copy(!) to Quarantine”, “Terminate” and *gibberish I could not make out*

Okay; click the Quarantine one.

OK. I clicked the red X and it’s now asking me if I’m sure. It also says that if I take no action, my computer could be at risk.

Right, click No, then Quarantine, then Terminate.

I clicked Quarantine and it’s not doing anything.

Click Terminate.

Nothing. Wait. It went away then came back again.

*I imagine they’re refering to the notice*
Please disconnect from the internet.

Okay, hang on. *I hear a lot of commotion* I closed Opera. And all the files. Now what?

Did you disable your wireless connection?

Why?

Please disable your wireless connection.

OK, let me start up Opera first.

Wait, no…

OK. Now, to disable the wireless, I need to plug out the black box from down there, right?

Erm, I guess that would work too. Go ahead.

Ah, I found the switch on my laptop. I disabled the wireless, but now I still get the notice.

Quarantine, then Terminate.

Ok, it came back.

Close Opera, please.

Ok. Wait, I can’t.

*I figure a download prompt is keeping them from closing the browser*
Press Ctrl + Shift + Escape for me, please.

So, C-T-R-L *sounds of them straining* Shift and.. what?

Escape. To the top left.

Ok. I get this funny window with…

I know. Click on the tab labeled “Processes” … Now find Opera.

Opera.exe!

Right. Now, right click on that.

Click or double click?

No, the right mouse button.

OK, I get a menu that..

I know. Click on End Process Tree

Right click?

No, regular click. Left mouse button.

OK. Hey, Opera disappeared.

Yes. Now start Opera again
*I figured a mallicious script on a website they were on was to blame. Opera can be set to restart with all the tabs from the previous session opened without prompt. To get rid of the tab, I had to throw Opera into error recovery mode so that they could select to start fresh, with no tabs. Otherwise the tabs would be loaded from the cache*

OK…

Now, a window should appear with…

*To herself* Tabs from previous session, OK…

No!

Oh, I get the notice again!

Yes, in the task manager, close Opera the same way as before.

Oh, I closed that window. How do I get it back? C-T-R-L…

Ctrl+Shift+Esc, Processes, find Opera…

Yes, yes. OK, closed Opera.

Start Opera again. This time, when the startup screen appears, wait for me. Okay?

OK. So, Tabs from previous session

Okay, anything but that option. Try “Start with Speed Dial”.

OK… It started. Hey, where are all my tabs?!

They  needed to be closed. Do you remember the link in last tab you were on? Stay away from it!

I don’t remember.

Gah, well. What version of Opera are you using?

I don’t know.

Click Help, then About Opera.

Oh, OK. Opera nine point…

Upgrade! Go to Opera.com and download a new version, please. Opera 10.10.

OK. I’m on the site… Download..

Wait, didn’t you disable your wireless?

No, why?

Nevermind. Please scan your system to make sure the infection did not spread.

OK. But later. It makes my laptop run slow. Erm, Horia, thank you.

Don’t mention…

You don’t mind me calling you when I run into trouble like this, right?

No, I don’t. Because now you know how to fix this kind of issue. So when something like this happens again, you’ll know what to do and you won’t have to call me.

Erm…

Right, goodbye!