… because it’s the only one I get!
Why would anyone live their life any less than to the fullest?
A Romanian friend, Ovi Sîrb, started this craze in the local blogosphere and it’s been real nice to watch the upbeat reactions.
Posts tagged with on-me
One Year Later
Yes, more than just keyframes and echo`s is now one year old!
And, in no particular order, I’d like to thank:
The old friend, for talking to me
Ralu, for reminding me how silly teens can be
Flavia, for the awesome tricks she can do
Karina, for making it big
Andreea, for the laughs, the field trip and the countless heads-up
Iordache, for the great tales
Paul, for being helpful — always
Beth, for the long Skype sessions and for always pushing me and for teaching me
ily, for taking me dancing
Anda, for making me pass the test
Bogdan, for becoming something awful
Sibi, for the beer and cold cuts
Tudor, for welcoming me back
Claudia, for the occasional bash
Johnny, for the occasional funny link
Codru, for being curious
Radu, for being down-to-earth
Dan, for his irritating tone
Randall, for xkcd
Sorin, for the serendipity
Alena, for reminding Alen who I am
Alen, for teaching me passion is not always about things you like
Delia, for still being hot
Muse, for the melodic new album
Mada, for understanding I love my sister more than her
Kumm, for a night to remember
Marius, for the long cigarette breaks
Andreea, for being the cutest boss
Radu, for his interest in my vision on HIV
Razvan, for showing me skill without passion is useless
Andreea, for moving out and staying away
The two hotties in Budapest that thought I was gonna snatch their purses
Ada, for the promised beer
Romy, for the morning laugh
Andreea, for the smirk, innocent flirts
Steve, for Digsby
John Resig, for having time for it all
Mike, for turning into his younger brother
Alex, for the awesome stones and jams
Andrei, for reminding me to keep in shape
Andrei, for always reminding me of Marie
Simona, for trying to get me
Andrea, for her ever-present PMS
Maria, for the awesome workshop
Anda, for coming back from the dead
Corina, for I can never remember who she is
Laura, for the person behind the ass and pierce
Adriana, for being caught in the same corporate shitstorm
Radu, for all the coffee
Adriana, for quitting and showing me it can be done
Denisa, for missing that train
Alina, for being childish beyond belief
Liz, for following the road I set her on
Iasmina, for the promise I’ll have to keep
Anca, for calling me “daddy”
Camytzi, for teaming up against Clawd
Scott Adams, for the awesome ideas
Ioana, for the nice warm hug
Dana, for her passion for photography
Oana, for coming to her senses before I had to perform an intervention
Roxana, for showing me why I like small teams
Eszti, for the ring
Mara, for being both hot and smart
Todo, for sticking to what she knows and believes
John, for the trips to the store
Roxi, for that great snow fight
Radu, for showing me how important passion (or lack thereof) is
Mirciu, for outgrowing his brother
Marian, for those great drummer talks
Andy, for the man-hug
Chris, for finally sending me a reply
Teo, for the invitations to see Canada
Opera, for never stopping the innovation
Steven Wilson, for giving a damn, and a great show
The hot waitress in Van Graph, for guessing what I’m gonna want
Delia, for still being hot, again
Octav, for remembering he owes me money from two years ago
Jess, for the old-school shows
Deme, for watching
Jason, for the coffee in downtown Budapest
Bianca, because I can finally remember her name
Adi, for showing me there is fun after marriage
Tudor, for being young
Yoyo, for always making me laugh
Rob, for the laughs, the talks and the pancakes
Andrea, for her warm body and stormy mind
Andra, for the invitations to see Tennessee
Florentina, for finally leaving me alone
Bubu, for at least trying to stay in touch
Ilina, for the fiery fight
Richie, for being wise, and being there
George, for the awesome board game
That Pakistani that served us the crepes
Anda, for rocking out
My brother, for showing me the ropes
Ionut, for finally getting the hang of jQuery
Razvan, for letting me know I should cut down on the fags and start eating more
Bubu, for learning a thing or two about property
Simm, for being a chipmunk on speed
Anna, for the exquisite photos
Alex, for moving on
Andrei, for his much younger girlfriend
Pucca, for her funky chicken
Diana, for not letting go
Andrei, for trying to make us speak the truth
Anca, for the tequilla
Ted, for not forgetting about me
Donald, for the shared passion
Marian, for learning how I like my Cuba Libre
Cosmin, for the cool projects
Victor, for recommending Tweetie
Iancu, for not freaking out when I would spend the night coding at the office
Carmen, for the vodka, again
Daciana, for that nice set of balls she has
Iulia, for reminding me of that faithful summer
Oana, for following her dream and always getting lost along the way
Cinzia, for keeping him happy
Alina, for documenting my front-row-center position
Dani, for the fat and phat jokes
Gloria, for her silhouette
Roman, for letting me know what I missed out on
Theresa, for creating a Skype account just so she could be my side at odd hours
Eva, for just being cool
Julie, for keeping on the right track
Nada, for getting me confused, again
Ami, for being ye small
Silvia, for being bigger than her sister
Cipri, because we all need to laugh
Mile, for believing
Roxy, for the ever-sexy fat lips
Fla, for finally getting up on his feet
UOvi, for bringing me to the blogmeet, and for the countless beers
Moni, for the early coffee
Cristi, for asking me for advice
Bogdan, for sharing the newbieness
My sister, for coming back home
Riki, for how nice our asses fit together
Dada, for the questions asked
Nia, for getting to London
Hera, for the impressive pumping
Timmy, for not selling out and for hardening up
Dani, for never letting go
Alina, for trying to get me in trouble
Vlad, for never letting go
Flavia, for her joyful spirit
Cristi, for the high hopes
Andra, for thanking me for setting her on that great path
Cristi, for the unforgettable photo shoot
Silvana, for giving up while she was way behind
Petre, for being picked on
Vita, for the pep-talks
Robert, for being the coolest teacher in private
Mihai, for showing me what a coward can do
Ale, for teaching me about Chinese
Cata, for the drenched talks and keeping my hands tied
Nicoletta, for the uncontainable laughs
Andrei, for taking it like a man
Raluca, for bringing the camera
Mary, for doing what she does best
Simona, for the movie talk
Dani, for having a soft nose, and not knocking me out after I broke it
Jimmy, for reminding me of Targu Jiu
Nico, for growing up
Melinda, for the interest
Senta, for the joyful laughter
Cezar, for the talk and the camera talk
Serafin, for being my sysadmin from far away
Diana, for realizing coding is not for her
Ruxi, for the promise of another great summer
Clawd, for the man behind the jokes
Codruta, for the invitation to see London
Cristina, for that pose I will never forget
Joanna, for getting back in touch
Simo, for recognizing me
Blogu, for sharing his tent
Vuco, for telling me to get some sleep
Brenn, for the shows and the beer
Seth Godin, for the ponder
Oana, for gaining weight
Cristi, for the t-shirt talk
Peecock, for the freedom to laugh
Dee, for coming to me when it comes to IE
Flavius, for the strong dose of selfishness
Andy, for the heads-up on the new Scottish
Ovi, because thank you
Ami, for learning I drink Carlsberg by the litre
Timeea, for not getting drunk
Ramona, for finally speaking the truth
Andreea, for that three-hour long swim
Irina, for finally getting to meet
Aghi, for the sorority invites
Bleau, for all the great ideas
Liviu, for being like my dad
Horvath, for the giggle
Laura, for still looking like a bitch
Dora, for making me tear
Vali, for his loud voice
Ioana, for learning and believing
Theo, for not letting go and for the jams
Adriana, for keeping my dear friend company
Paul Houle, for the great IDE idea
Alexandra, for coming back
Andie, for showing us that the freaks can make it big
Alexandra, for the cab rides
Simon, for treating me as an equal
The cute waitress in Van Graph, for the discount
Crispy, for the awesome talks
Mirela, for liking Manson
Alina, for the old-school email conversation
Stefan, for the crash course
Elena, for not letting her other name stop her
Andrei, for that close-to-stone
Razvan, for being himself, and losing in style, twice
Ioana, for manning up
Alex, for finally burying the hatchet
That guy from Bucharest, for getting us in 15 minutes before the gates opened
Alex, for giving me a better cause
Andrei, for proving how secure Opera is
Simona, for the occasional bit of wisdom
Mircea, for always wearing a suit
T-Shirt Hell, for the great marketing move
Ildi, for making a Cuba Libre almost half-price for one whole week
Andy, for letting me walk her home
Max, for never giving up on me
Andreea, for remembering she owes me a Wilde book
Cristina, for the never-ending surprise
Amalia, for reminding me I was stupid once too
Vlad, for quitting while ahead
Raul, for having the balls
Laura, for turning me down
Hanti, for getting an awful haircut at the same time I did
Florin, for learning that I want a Cuba Libre
Adeline, for being clumsy
Cartitoi, for the backgammon
Julie, for putting on weight
Andrei, for being a pillar of seriousness
Alexandru, for the cool project
Bogdana, for her lovely watch
Anca, for being a hot boss
That old man in Budapest, that set us in the right direction
Dan, for the cool project
Cami, for her young lust
Oro, for keeping me company at The Rock House
Iovan, for becoming sensible again
Gabi, for the cool drumming, and cutting his hair
Lavy, for showing me which way to not go
Ionut, for teaching me a lesson about being lazy
Nuzzu, for being there when it matters
Barcelona, for the stunning everything
Alexandra, for being as tall as I am
Armand, for being ever-slow
Andrei, for the countless means of communication
Arthur, for the true smile
Diana, for being special, even though I never told her
Simona, for that cold night
Corina, for grabbing my ass at the right time
Ale, for the person behind the boobs
Monica, for failing my course
Raul, for the brawn and the nice New Year’s Party
Google, for letting me use their everything
Andy, for taking them home, so I may walk
Alexandra, for showing me both sides
Adi, because I know too well
Amplifier, for the collector’s CD and the handwritten postcards
The Dragon, for leaving me alone this time
Victor, for finally loosening up
Laura, for finding an ancient photo of me
Georgiana, for telling me to stay away
Mirela, for learning my name
Madalina, for that lovely neck of hers
Calvin, for putting me in the fast lane
Crina, for the unfathomable interest
The Strassers, for the awesome hospitality
Adi, for the great music talk
Mom and Dad, for putting up with my crap
Richard D Worth, because jQueryUI
Andrei, for Google Wave
Marian, for not shoving things down my throat
Elena, for getting to shake my hand
Rodica, because Java’s not that bad
Peter, for starting the eye-craze
Activestate, for Komodo, my trusted tool
Dorian, for his interest in Agile
Michael, for speaking up against evernote
Flavius, for learning from me
Iza, for knowing what it’s like
Iza, for keeping my dear friend company
Casandra, for thefeminist talk
Pera, for the inspiring book
Shawn, for the awesome funnies
Jorn, for the great articles
Larisa, for being in the same huge room with me
Nebu, for her birthday
Dojo, for the handshake
Cristian, for the Apple/thankyou talk
Brad, for being the humane client
Jeff Atwood, for answering, and shouting out
Jon, for the kick-ass Opera revamp, and for talking to me
Mamama, for being herself and calling me out
I know this is not everyone, so if you’re not on this list, nag me!
See you next year!
Passion
We are defined by our habits. It’s that simple.
I like to engage in a lot of activities. And, even though I tend to keep then disjoint, they all intertwine. Quite nicely at that. Still, I don’t do too much, too many, for too long, at least not more than the average bloke at twenty-three.
Whatever I do, though, I put my whole being into it. All of the passion and angst I can muster, all of the sweat, the tears, the blood.
When I play guitar, I do so with my whole body, and my mind just takes a nap, swept away by the gentle wave of warm reverberations. Sometimes, my hair flies off as my mind travels through all the mistakes I’ve made, as I bash the drop D string as hard and as fast as I can. Sometimes, I’ll just fiddle with a cool, eerie effect that Theo came up with for half an hour, just because I like how it tickles my nipples.
Yes, I sometimes code for 20 hours at a time. I just do that. Doesn’t matter if I get paid or not. If I feel I’m directing a symphony of brackets and semicolons, just let me enjoy the music, the scenery that my dark color scheme provides and let me worry about getting sleep or getting laid when I’m done. There’s always time for that.
I sometimes teach. Doesn’t matter how many attend my course. All I hope for is that someone will take home a little bit of the spark I carry with me. Just like I did, back in college from Cipri Crăciun, Adi Crăciun and Lucian Cucu. I sometimes get lost in the words and the running over from computer to computer, yes, but I do hope that you’ll get the drive to try to solve things. The rest will just follow.
When I bang, I dive in head-first. I do love your skin, your smell, your taste, your neck, your hips, your thighs. And it’s all about you and me. If I’m ready to curl up and melt down together with you, please don’t think you’re fat. Please don’t think I’d rather be with someone else, or somewhere else. You’d just be stupid.
At any point in time, there’s no other place I’d rather be. No other person I’d rather be seeing. No other thing I’d like to do. That would not make sense. You think I’m slaving away at work? No! I’m just doing my best to be better. You think I’m wasting time mowing the lawn? No! I’m just turning it into a sexy dance. You think I’ll always choose her over you? No! How come you got to tell me that over a pint of beer?
You think I’m itching to leave Romania? No! I just hope to learn how to make it better. Not it, but you.
I don’t care who you are, but if you’re reading this, you’ve seen me burn with passion at least once. Whether it was drinking, dancing, sexing, typing, running, laughing, losing, winning, hiking or even sleeping. Doesn’t matter.
Thank you.
… and Getting Back
’cause I’ve been giving for a while now.
That’s not to say I feel cheated, or that I’ll stop giving. But I have been missing the point.
You might realize that all the good you do, you do for two reasons: to actually do something good and to make yourself feel better. It’s the stroke you get from being helpful, from the thought that you’ve made someone’s life better, from feeling like you made a difference.
So, you could say that selflessness is selfish at its core.
For me it was all the more selfish, since I did not like others helping me, or giving me something in return for a good deed of mine. If you just thought ‘money,’ you have issues. This has nothing to do with money. It’s about giving and letting others to give back.
When you don’t let others return your favor, they will — at some level — feel like they owe you. Not to mention that you’ve given yourself a stroke, but denied them their own. Obviously, not every favor can be returned, and some good deeds are done just for the sake of doing them. I’m talking about the cases when there are no hidden agendas, when two people share actual feelings in doing something that is not retched.
Now it’s all that better for me. I still get to be useful, and help people out however I can. Just that now, not denying their giving back, I get to see even more joy in their eyes.
The Night Ride
Tonight, Tudor pulled me out of my den. It all started with a text message and continued with his coming over to pick me up for a ride.
Seeing Timişoara at night, with clear streets, no angry drivers, no sad faces crawling about was just what I needed after a Flashing day. Also, seeing how some streets are a delight to drive down, seeing workers busy at night, making the town better, seeing the faded city lights through the blurred windows as we whooshed by was more than uplifting.
It was also relaxing to just sit down — in the car, obviously — and just chat about everything and nothing.
–
I’ve spent the past two months setting my sleeping habits straight, waking up at twenty-five past seven, trying to go to bed before three in the morning, against my nature. Even doctors have been calling me a night person since I turned sixteen.
I may own my world all day long, but I still belong to the night.
Perfect Storm
Can you feel the wind, gently bashing against your chest?
The clouds blocking your sight. The haze of dust and shit and lies. The cold, grasping your spine tightly, standing you straight. Your knees giving in, cold feet, and a void in your stomach that will just not let you be.
Can you feel a storm is coming? Will it be perfect? All storms are!
–
Every now and then, I like to let go of my iron grasp on life. Letting it have its way with me, until I decide it’s time to reach out and grab it by the throat again. I like to just renounce all the control I so carefully build up, just to be taken off my feet, taken on a trip. Just to see where I land and if I’ll survive.
We spend most of our lives carefully sailing ahead, enjoying the calm seas and brilliant Sun. I just love it when I’m lost in a storm, with no direction at all, and the only sure thing I can reach out and touch is the wind, gently bashing against my chest.
Tagged: No More Internet?
This question has been on many people’s lips recently. What would happen if the Internet would suddenly cease to exist?
The first and obvious answer would be: you would not be reading this. For the rest of this post, let’s pretend we’re penpals and you got this in the mail. Since this is about my take on this modern day apocalypse, I’ll go on by saying I’ll also be out of a job. Also, the browser wars.. would be over!!
With the extra amount of time, I’d get back in shape, guitar-wise. Less or no time spent in front of the computer means having all the time in the world to me. I’d also get to having those wet dreams I was talking about earlier this year. I might even get laid! Oh, and I’d start calling snail mail, mail and mail, email again.
I would probably earn my living working as a farmer, which would become the equivalent of today’s coder. Can you picture me with overalls and a checkered shirt on? Straw hat and all? Sexy, I know. I could even look into the possibility of becoming a professional smoker, but I still think the world is not ready for that one yet. I’d start reading in public again, since everyone would be doing it, I suppose.
I’d also remember what it’s like being alone again — and I mean that in a good way — seeing how I can’t keep in touch with people without using the Internet. I’d also start noticing small offline details again. Like people talking to me or girls smiling at me. Or that I have fourteen cats living in my house. I’d definitely play with my dogs more often. I’d spent way more time in the garden, eating fruit right out the tree.
Best part yet? I’d get to finally fix my unhealthy sleeping habits.
Now, this is a tag. Anda was curious to see what a geek would do if the Internet went 404. The fun part about this tag was that I actually got to thinking how much time I actually do spend either online or on my lappy. My findings call for immediate action. So maybe this tag will do Ovi, John Resig and Jon Hicks some good as well.
Feeling A Moment
The wind blows subtly through my undersized, old t-shirt. The grass dances gently to its music. I rush to snap a shot, marveling at the view that I behold.
I look at you and I see you there, fifty years on, in the same spot. Me by your side. I’m still better looking than you, hon. I must have quit smoking.
We lay on the many shades of green. We cuddle. We close our eyes.
And that’s how I’ll always remember you.
And all this because of Feeder’s Feeling A Moment.